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June 23, 2004 @ 10:06 pm 🔗 Post Link

pondering, www



Well the Mighty Q (link was hoshq.com) was nice enough to send me an invitation to beta test google’s gmail system. I know it is beta, and not ready for prime time so I expect it to be buggy and slow… and it is… However… it looks promising… The 1000M storage is crazy… Their tag line is something like search for mail don’t sort it… I’ll have to see how it runs in prime time. I don’t know how (or don’t have) any invites. So… you’ll just have to wait until google releases gmail to the public.

People are most often identified with what they do. It is their identity. One of the first questions people ask each other when they meet someone new is, ‘so, what do you do?’. So… when not working full time, or linked to a company or business, it can feel like part of your identity is missing. Working creates self esteem, respect, and satisfaction from a job well done. Income allows you to plan for the future, go shopping and enjoy some of the most interesting aspects of life. So… without stable work… it is easy to feel a mammoth weight on your shoulders. I know I do. After sending out tons of resumes and getting no replies, doubt has started to nag at my self-esteem. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel… and motivation and enthusiasm is becoming rare and sporadic. For some people this merely fuels their motivation and drives them harder to succeed. I’m not one of these people.

Regardless if it makes any sense, the fact of the matter is I take rejection in this capacity very hard. It is demoralizing and embarrassing to wake up each morning with no where to go… Well do this? Do that? I don’t feel I have many options. I’m running out of coin and trying to juggle a life in two cities… I feel pressure to get to the moving on part of my relationship. Well, I’m not there. I don’t know when I’ll be there. I’m trying to get there. It just isn’t happening. It is immeasurably frustrating. I don’t think you can understand until you have walked in my shoes. I can’t rationalize this right now. I feel alone, which I perpetuate because it is hard to face people… People ask questions. Some questions have poor answers. Some questions have no answers. It seems to get harder as each day passes. This monkey is bolted on.

What a load of shit to unload… gawd.

Updated: HoshQ link is dead. 😕

blog your rankings!

For those interested in their google page ranking…. I found an interesting article about how blogging improves it. A clip: ‘Blogs receive strong Google PageRanks because they gain many powerful incoming links, in a surprisingly short period of time. PR4 and PR4 rankings within the first two to three months of a blog’s existence are commonplace.

Bloggers are free and generous linkers, who happily link to other blogs they enjoy, or as a service to their own readership. Along with those links comes a healthy boost of PageRank. The constantly updated postings to blogs will add many natural and unreciprocated links as well. The fresh content and high PageRanks get many blogs crawled by internet spiders on a daily basis.’

Interesting stuff…I’m sitting at a 4 out of 10. Hmmpt.

Update: link is dead

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